What a life.  Sometimes you just want to say rendam things and move on and not feel cos its just too much to feel and sometimes its just too much to think.

I cant get it sometimes.  Ever feel like you are num.  That you have no feelings at all.  That you dont have it in your heart any longer.  You dont know why or you just feel as though too many things are happening at once and you just want to be away from everything.  You could start over again.  No one must remember you.  No one must know you and no one must know your name.  Its just easier that way when you want to go somewhere where you are an ant and you looking at everything on a big screan.  You are not part of it.  But it amuses you and brings a smile on your face.

Ever feel like typing takes up too much time.  Its not fast enough to catch all your thoughts and have them heard.  Sometimes i just want to stand on top of the world and get everyones attention.  Even the smallest insect and animals.  Just listen and just hear what i have to say.  But that is imposible.  That will never happen no matter how much you wish for it.

Love is something else.  Love is something else.  Lets not go there.  Its a bit too complicated!

Somehow i am feeling so lonely right now.  I want people that sorround me to know but at the same time i dont want them to know.  I want to keep it all to myself.  I wish for things that can happen but will just take up too much energy.

I need friends, friends that are far away.  Far from here.  Somehow i know i would be able to feel their touch and their hugs and love all the way from wherever they are.  I feel that they could understand me more.  Maybe because they dont know me and every one says that i am complicated that i am crazy.  That may be right but isn't it boring to be NORMAL???
I ask you.  I dont know what its like but sometimes i really think that i am crazy myself.
Whats up with that.

Now you know what goes on in my head.